Hello readers! I apologize for not blogging for days and days~ I was on the verge of stopping myself to blog because of the things that just happened. My concepts for blogging was (almost) gone. I had a lot of ideas before until then I got lazy, paranoid; I gots heartaches and pains that not even anyone could ease, neither anything. Nothing seems to ease the pain, but the happy memories of you and me. Well whatever, I'm back =D

I was lost and I might still be lost, looking for ways to get out of this chaos in me. I wasn't even being myself, perhaps you noticed. I wasn't me, I wasn't the old me, now I'm growing. Noticed? But there shouldn't be any change of how I can make people's day bright, how I'd be people's sunshine, even when there's rain, except a little better and brighter. I even began to realized that I am loving someone I could die for.


If only there were a certain something that could somehow turn back time, aaaayyy~ But there's no such thing, what's done is done. Life is suppose to be simple, in terms of having choices, yes. But choosing might be a little more difficult than how it could be said. You have to choose wisely to get to the right one; and when you get to the wrong one, you have to always get out of that, and change. So, what do you say? I changed.


In deciding on a yes and a no, I thought it was that easy. I just realized that there's nobody else to trust if you can't even trust yourself. I realized that I shouldn't ask the others to make choices for me, because it should be me, I should have my own way, my own self in it, sincerely.

Hence, the story is easier said like, the deeds of "a friend" -got me thinking the wrong way, I MISUNDERSTOOD a lot, and then those thoughts made me COMPLAIN a lot, yes, I assumed a little bit too much. And then, I asked "someone" what should I do about it, and he said, I should make that friend feel how I was feeling, so "that friend" would know.. so here, I somehow did and followed his advice, but it was WRONG! It just made all the things worse! Now, look at me.. It made "my friend" thought I wasn't there, when I was there all the time, just waiting - even TRYING TO wait PATIENTLY. Now it's all gone.


See, it was simple yet difficult. What can you say about that?
I'd say Life is simple, but it goes in the way you run it. So don't go too easy, listen to yourself before you listen to others. Be you!



One of my best friend said he doesn't care about what other people think about him. That is one good thing. Oh hey, look at me before, I was so daring, that when he dared me to shout out "POSER" to those posers/ poklens/ wannabe, I could even do. HAHAH. I didn't really care about what the others would think because...well, honestly, they don't know me at all xD HAHAH just being honest. I don't really dare to do anything more stupid, but I don't mind doing
i.e. wearing funny clothes in public for a day..? HEHEH.
I'd do it if it'll make someone special happy =)

Lil sis - Fei with the towers ~

Well, I would dare to do a lot of different other stuffs like jumping from roof to roof, BUT come on, be wise. Don't be stupid, people dares YOU, shouldn't always follow what they want, what they would always ask you to, first, listen to yourself. Think about it, is it right? is it wrong? is it okay? will it be fine? You make choices :)

You see, I made a lot of mistakes in my life, I personally thought I shouldn't leave them just like that. They were made for you for me to learn from it and get right next time. Therefore, mistakes were to look back to, and to think about, to make things right the next time, be more careful about what you do. We are never perfect, practice does perfect, practice is where you get mistakes. Not literally perfect, but more right, a little less than perfect, but more less mistakes. Agree?

About me, I used to be the one who has the center of attention, and I loved it. But I wasn't all high profiled until I got busted a lot of times. Now, I'd deal with this, not being the center of attention anymore. It doesn't matter much anyway. Just an attention~ Let's just see where fate would lead me, how life would go, how my life would end, how the story would end.

I'm more quiet when I know you won't listen, I'm more "noisy" if I know you'd listen. But hey, I'm me. I'm talkative the way I am. Or maybe I'm just intellectual? HAHAH! you say it. Well, I do lack confidence sometimes, that's when I feel insecure. Also that's more of when I lack practice, and jealous. Oh, getting jealous? Sometimes, I lose myself in there. Well, I somehow still do but lot less than before. I would only ask myself what about myself, like, look at myself in the mirror, and tell myself I'm unique. and the way I'm different made the way I'm beautiful/the sexiest/ the whatsoever~

So babe, what makes you different, makes you beautiful. and oh, don't ever change yourself just to fit in, but be more on yourself and improvise, not change. so, do we get each other here? ..for whoever who tries to be someone else, you'll see you'll have a hard time letting the others know the real YOU.

and people, I'd love to make your day shine, and make you happy. Would you give me a chance? Because knowing the reason for the smile on your face, makes me happy :) SOMEHOW~

♥ Azim, bro, I love you :) you and your cousin. ♥ Remember to remember that! ;]

and some of you readers inspired me to this whole thing, SOMEHOW~ HEHEH. well thanks to some of you~ I do hope I'm back, HOHO HOPEFULLY.

Now, can you handle me? or I should be the one handling you? HAHAH. Tell me more, and I'll always be here to listen. I'll write more about things to make you feel better, SOMEHOW xD

P/S: ♥ I miss you all! you know who you guys are~ ;) Thanks for being there when I needed someone to talk to. I love you all! well I'm sorry if I had been unaffectionate to show how much I love you people. But I assume you'd feel it anyway when I hug you, if not hug, maybe when we talk on the phone~ yes babes, you babes. ♥ Qinyi! one of my sayangs, cheer up k :) mwakz!

Labels: Changes, Cry, Life, Love, My Words, Sayings, Tears