When you can live forever, what do you live for?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sick? Lovesick?

Have I mentioned to you that I've been sick? Oh well, whatever but yes, I am sick. Not just sick sick I guess, like "someone" said, lovesick? HAHA antah. Don't make me more gila-er aah. I can die one, u know! I am sick, yes I am. I am going soon and I am sure gonna miss this place called "LOVE" scratch that, Brunei lah.

So people here right now have been playing love songs, I just seriously hate it for it reminds me a lot of things. It's freakin' hell! HELL, I tell you! HELL!!! Get off me, you freakin' hell! Okay, maybe I'm over reacting or something but I tell you this for sure. It's been a month ++ and the cuts and injuries and whatsoever is still fresh. Hell, my mirror in my room reminds me of him, wonder why? HAHA well simply, his image was ever formed in the mirror. Perhaps you don't understand, okay let me elaborate that, it's he's ever here and yes in my room. HAHA oh no, don't get me wrong, inda bergatal. People were here too beside us. Well, I don't know, u know? I feel jsknglfhdbg right now. I've been trying to put my head somewhere else but it can't seem to stay at one place. Like, wherever I go, it follows me. I feel hell man! HELL! Darn it!

Well, I just wanted to let these things out of my chest, u know. I don't really like saying this out orally, so yeah...

Oh yeah, have you noticed it's been raining for days and days now? Do you know that I hate rain so much? but at the same time, I love it and too, I try to enjoy it although it could make me sick and wet and all that.. Everytime it rains, it gives me this sad thing in my brain that someone's been crying. My heart cries as it watches the pouring rain. I could wish I was in it, to make myself feel better somehow. But the thing is, I can't because I'll get even more sick. Aaaayyy drama!

Positive side is.. I just love the pain so much. Do you know why? ..it's because I cry because of love, I laughed because of love, and because of love, I feel like I could go somewhere. Somewhere not in the place we're living in, perhaps heaven? I feel positive about it because love has made me so different, so different that it could do me anything. ANYTHING at all! ..Because of love, I became stronger than I could ever believe myself so. I love the pain that love has gave me and is still giving me. I couldn't care much feeling the pain, because it's love. I would even be more sad if I didn't know how to love. and now, I finally feel the greatest pain from the greatest love. How can I ever be more proud? I know how to love, I know what is love. What if I didn't know what it was?

and when I love, I cry. Eventually, I'll just say to myself, don't worry be happy. and then when I cry, I feel like I should try acting. HAHAH. Maybe I could be good at that, who knows? It's I think, if I'd go acting and I need to cry(acting), I'll be thinking about love, real love, honey. I guess that's gonna be tough eh? Especially when u have to do that most of the time, but I'm sure it can NEVER change the fact that I still know how to love - FOREVER- FOREVERMORE! AMIN/AMEN. :)

People have been coming in and out but I couldn't have the feeling of needing them. What do you think? Probably, I just don't realize that I need them..? or what? I don't need a man to hold me, but I'm sure I do need a man to dance with me ;D

HAHAH oh yes, I've been dancing and gawddd I wanna model eh! HAHAH if anybody would agree me to be a model despite of my height. HAHAH DO YOU? DO YOU AGREE? It's okay if you don't, you can just say. I'm not gonna do anything to you if you say no anyway. HAHAH man, give me hugs on thursday! I'll be gone by that day, you know?

Oh and everyone who wants to see me, do meet me at the airport on the 30th of October by around 5.45pm! =)

oh please hear my friend sing: (8) just to be different (8) FOR REAL! :) ibi & ziq, love.
HAHAHA here's some more.. xD HAHAH lovin' it Bruneian rappers! [CLICKERS]
Daaaamn, you've got SKILLS man! HAHAH I'm too scared to be in that, but I can try =| HAHAH don't tell me you're gonna bring the old-times lil lady hiphopin' back the block! HAHA shoosh lah.

Labels: Airport, Brunei, dance, Life, Lost, Love, Sad Days, Song, Tears

Kendiee ♥blogged @ 8:09 PM

when the lion fell in love with the lamb..

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Mahal Ko Sya..

Kahit malayo at malaya na tayo sa isa't-isa,
hindi pa rin nagbabago and pagtingin ko sa'yo
...MAHAL PA RIN KITA...

Kahit baka hindi mo na ako mahal, mamahalin pa rin kita;
kahit magalit ka pa sa akin ng paulit-ulit,
kahit makahanap ka pa ng iba, ikaw pa rin ang mamahlin ko
pang habang buhay, hindi kita makakalimutan
tutupad pa rin ako sa mga pangako ko sa'yo
hindi talaga kita'ng iiwan, kahit man lang na mag kaibigan na lang tayo.

kahit dapat hindi na kita'ng dapat mahalin, mahal pa rin kita eh.
basta promise, hindi kita iiwan, kahit kailan.

FOREVER AND EVER. AMEN =)

Labels: Changes, Life, Love, Nate, Nazim, Tagalog

Kendiee ♥blogged @ 11:52 PM

when the lion fell in love with the lamb..

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My Classic All Time Favo Love Stories.

HAHAH yesh, haven't sleep. Just wanna post this video.
and oh, I definitely love classic love stories, I love romance, I love it simply :)

Just like "Titanic" & "Romeo & Juliet" ;]

Even the song of Mariah's, way fine.

I don't think it's THAAAAT gay lah, I love it classic.
and I am, do in love with the story of Romeo & Juliet and yes, Titanic.

Daaamn, the maker will get A for that. HAHAH!
Loves eeeet! xD wooooo!

I have no idea why I like it so much, I like CLASSIC LOVE STORIES. Well, of course not only the classic ones, but yeah. HEHEH!

Labels: Art, Classic, Life, Love, Youtube

Kendiee ♥blogged @ 12:25 AM

when the lion fell in love with the lamb..

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Thursday, October 9, 2008

2k8 CHMS Teacher's Day!

Just wanna greet all the teachers in CHMS, HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!

I don't think any of them reads my blog, though.

Oh hey, it's been a fine day, "SOMEONE" made my night xD Guess whooooo?
Nah, I ain't tell ya~ xP He's cool, keii. But no, nobody else races the heart out of me, ANYMORE. (Does that even make sense? Hmmm.. I wonder~) Yeah, he's a super MYSTERIOUS friend(?)

So, I've been at school, as usual.. and I've been thinking... About my PMB exams which is in a week now, next year 2009, my life, my upcoming christmas, the new year...

Anyhoos, let me tell you about school today.. Well, do you guys know who the *TOOOT* is Mr. Madonna? Do you even have any idea why was HE called that?
Simply because, he loves Madonna, admires Madonna, and even TRIES to SING like her interesting, no? ..I'm not really gonna say out his name here specifically, but hey, I gotta say it's waaaaay gaaaay when he sang "A Simple Song" today. We even thought he was lip syncing..?! CHMS heard that, and maaan, yes, he's coool though he acted gayish just now. Overall, it doesn't really matter, the TEACHERS/elders enjoyed it.

So there was a line dance, a drama "Flying Kite" where Kuan lao shi is a MAID. HAHAH! but I wasn't paying much attention to it =|
Then there's the MONGOLIAN Dance where the Kindergarten's teachers danced like COOOORAEZEEE~ I mean, craaaaazy. It was funny yet enjoyable. I'd say not much of my type.
Oh oh, and there was a Chinese Orchestra music too, with my art teacher as the lead player, anyhooos, she's awesome! HAHAH loved that "End Of Century" song.. Daaamn, I could even dance to that, make a remix.. wooo! HAHAH. Jiang suang~ And oh, ex-crush also played.. HAHAH I wonder what made me liked him aah last time? Was it because he's half this and half that too? I don't think sooo.. HAHAH.. I seriously have no idea... or was it his smile? eh?!~ O_O

Moving on... A host asked, "What is Love?" to all of us... and "How much is it?"
So then, I wanted to go and answer, not because I wanted the "GREEN" gift but yeah, maybe I'm good at it? HEH! Nehhh... Well, Love was said as if it was almost indescribable, it has more than what words can say, it has beyond millions of definitions. It's not really indescribable, it's just too much to describe, a thousand words might not even help to describe it.. There's more to it.. Well, I'm not posting much about it now.. Maybe next time?
Okay, and then, how much.. How much is Love?
Like Wan Ye's said, I quote, Love is Priceless.
It can never be bought, or sold, but it can be given, and too, it can be received.

Why aaahhh..people BOO-ed Wan Ye? HAHAH. and Sherharlaigne, youuu woak(ROCK)!!

So after that, there was this song "Nilai Cinta" sang by Cikgu Samsiniah and Chai Mei Yan.
and I saw KHAIRUL dancing~ HAHAH plus Max@ Hafiz too.. HAHAH Calliiii!!~

After that, musical rendition.. I didn't know Teacher Roman could play guitar O___O
and Teacher Caroline could sing... Woahh.. but I'm not so surprised anyway.. "You've Got A Friend".

I guess that's about what I have to say about today. Well, I made a short song today xP random~

------------------------------------------------------------------

Toms Plans:

7.30am -> Leaves Home To School.
8am => COMMERCIAL STUDIES (F3C)
9am => Attend ANOTHER Commercial Studies class (F3B)
10am => Class Dismiss!
10.30am => Braya besama kawans to Alif's & to Amalina's :)
12 noon => Balik rumah, buat my kerja. [Go back home, do my work.]

Not sure about what I'll be doing in the afternooooon.
JUST WORK!
---------------------------------------------------------------------

P/S: Eh kawans, invite me arah your house braya ih. xP

So yes, I'm trying to enjoy raya as much as I can. Although, it's been bad lately.
Anyhoos, "SOMEONE" asked me to sleep already so yeah.
Known one secret? JAN's the only one who made me follow him like a dog. HAHAH! STUPID!

Bah, I'll post again laters.

Labels: assembly, Exams, Hari Raya, Life, Love, PMB, Sayings, School, Song, Studies, Teacher's Day

Kendiee ♥blogged @ 11:33 PM

when the lion fell in love with the lamb..

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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Be You! =)

Hello readers! I apologize for not blogging for days and days~ I was on the verge of stopping myself to blog because of the things that just happened. My concepts for blogging was (almost) gone. I had a lot of ideas before until then I got lazy, paranoid; I gots heartaches and pains that not even anyone could ease, neither anything. Nothing seems to ease the pain, but the happy memories of you and me. Well whatever, I'm back =D

I was lost and I might still be lost, looking for ways to get out of this chaos in me. I wasn't even being myself, perhaps you noticed. I wasn't me, I wasn't the old me, now I'm growing. Noticed? But there shouldn't be any change of how I can make people's day bright, how I'd be people's sunshine, even when there's rain, except a little better and brighter. I even began to realized that I am loving someone I could die for.

If only there were a certain something that could somehow turn back time, aaaayyy~ But there's no such thing, what's done is done. Life is suppose to be simple, in terms of having choices, yes. But choosing might be a little more difficult than how it could be said. You have to choose wisely to get to the right one; and when you get to the wrong one, you have to always get out of that, and change. So, what do you say? I changed.

In deciding on a yes and a no, I thought it was that easy. I just realized that there's nobody else to trust if you can't even trust yourself. I realized that I shouldn't ask the others to make choices for me, because it should be me, I should have my own way, my own self in it, sincerely.

Hence, the story is easier said like, the deeds of "a friend" -got me thinking the wrong way, I MISUNDERSTOOD a lot, and then those thoughts made me COMPLAIN a lot, yes, I assumed a little bit too much. And then, I asked "someone" what should I do about it, and he said, I should make that friend feel how I was feeling, so "that friend" would know.. so here, I somehow did and followed his advice, but it was WRONG! It just made all the things worse! Now, look at me.. It made "my friend" thought I wasn't there, when I was there all the time, just waiting - even TRYING TO wait PATIENTLY. Now it's all gone.

See, it was simple yet difficult. What can you say about that?
I'd say Life is simple, but it goes in the way you run it. So don't go too easy, listen to yourself before you listen to others. Be you!

One of my best friend said he doesn't care about what other people think about him. That is one good thing. Oh hey, look at me before, I was so daring, that when he dared me to shout out "POSER" to those posers/ poklens/ wannabe, I could even do. HAHAH. I didn't really care about what the others would think because...well, honestly, they don't know me at all xD HAHAH just being honest. I don't really dare to do anything more stupid, but I don't mind doing
i.e. wearing funny clothes in public for a day..? HEHEH.
I'd do it if it'll make someone special happy =)

Lil sis - Fei with the towers ~

Well, I would dare to do a lot of different other stuffs like jumping from roof to roof, BUT come on, be wise. Don't be stupid, people dares YOU, shouldn't always follow what they want, what they would always ask you to, first, listen to yourself. Think about it, is it right? is it wrong? is it okay? will it be fine? You make choices :)

You see, I made a lot of mistakes in my life, I personally thought I shouldn't leave them just like that. They were made for you for me to learn from it and get right next time. Therefore, mistakes were to look back to, and to think about, to make things right the next time, be more careful about what you do. We are never perfect, practice does perfect, practice is where you get mistakes. Not literally perfect, but more right, a little less than perfect, but more less mistakes. Agree?

KL, Batu Cave ~

About me, I used to be the one who has the center of attention, and I loved it. But I wasn't all high profiled until I got busted a lot of times. Now, I'd deal with this, not being the center of attention anymore. It doesn't matter much anyway. Just an attention~ Let's just see where fate would lead me, how life would go, how my life would end, how the story would end.

I'm more quiet when I know you won't listen, I'm more "noisy" if I know you'd listen. But hey, I'm me. I'm talkative the way I am. Or maybe I'm just intellectual? HAHAH! you say it. Well, I do lack confidence sometimes, that's when I feel insecure. Also that's more of when I lack practice, and jealous. Oh, getting jealous? Sometimes, I lose myself in there. Well, I somehow still do but lot less than before. I would only ask myself what about myself, like, look at myself in the mirror, and tell myself I'm unique. and the way I'm different made the way I'm beautiful/the sexiest/ the whatsoever~

So babe, what makes you different, makes you beautiful. and oh, don't ever change yourself just to fit in, but be more on yourself and improvise, not change. so, do we get each other here? ..for whoever who tries to be someone else, you'll see you'll have a hard time letting the others know the real YOU.

and people, I'd love to make your day shine, and make you happy. Would you give me a chance? Because knowing the reason for the smile on your face, makes me happy :) SOMEHOW~

♥ Azim, bro, I love you :) you and your cousin. ♥ Remember to remember that! ;]

and some of you readers inspired me to this whole thing, SOMEHOW~ HEHEH. well thanks to some of you~ I do hope I'm back, HOHO HOPEFULLY.

Now, can you handle me? or I should be the one handling you? HAHAH. Tell me more, and I'll always be here to listen. I'll write more about things to make you feel better, SOMEHOW xD

P/S: ♥ I miss you all! you know who you guys are~ ;) Thanks for being there when I needed someone to talk to. I love you all! well I'm sorry if I had been unaffectionate to show how much I love you people. But I assume you'd feel it anyway when I hug you, if not hug, maybe when we talk on the phone~ yes babes, you babes. ♥ Qinyi! one of my sayangs, cheer up k :) mwakz!

Sincerely yours,
♥ the one and only Chiaw Yuen ;]

Labels: Changes, Cry, Life, Love, My Words, Sayings, Tears

Kendiee ♥blogged @ 12:13 AM

when the lion fell in love with the lamb..

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Chiaw Yuen

26th January