Okay, I am so not feeling well right now.
Things have been very disturbing and I'm misunderstood, somehow..?

I had not have the loveliest morning,
I had not have the sunny afternoon;
and all day it's been cold,
it's been cold in my environment, it's been cold in myself.

I've been stuck in my room for pratically the whole day
can't even bother to eat a piece of meat or something 24 hours
but sweets and fruits and taste bittersweet love.

A night that freaks me out with thunderstorms and heavy rains;
the things that I'm scared of, the things that blows my mind crazy

but... things inside my chest/ heart blows my mind even crazier...
I would wanna let them out
I would wanna shout them out
..I'm just really disturbed and still farking paranoid

I'm scared that one day
I'll lose Nazim, because it's inevitable;
I'm scared that one day
I can't be with you anymore.
I'm scared that one day
you'll get tired of me and eventually leave.
I'm scared that one day
you'll never click me as much as before
I'm scared that one day
I can never never have you anymore.

How pathetic I could be to think too much of that. *sigh*
bitch-slap me? will you?

I didn't let you go because I love you too much to let go,
that even I myself would fight with my parents about us.
They don't understand, they don't know how I feel
I was in the middle of an almost death and life situation
I almost cut myself and run away
but as I promised not to, I didn't..
because I love you too much to break it..
I might have broke a promise once,
but I'll never make that happen ever again.
It's what I say, and I must practice what I vowed to.

I don't want you to blame yourself,
because it's so not your fault.
I might have laughed a little because
a song reflects on you
"You can put the blame on me, put the blame on me"
it's funny at that point but it hurts me that it hurts you
when you blame yourself, I feel more blamed myself
it felt as if it's double times or more to me.

There are some things I couldn't tell you right away
because it's not nice to tell you over the phone, or online wherever
but in person, if I see you the next time, I will tell you
and the reason why I doubt about HER.

and it's crazy that I would cry myself to sleep often
I would think about the most negative thoughts to sleep,
how ridiculous I could be, how pathetic!
but I can't help it, I tried to, and sometimes I just fail not to.

I can be positive in some ways
because I know and I'm sure that you love me
but I tell you right now, I love you more than you'll ever know.

and baby, I'm glad that you're learning to be patient now, somehow..

I Love You, Mohammad Nazim Zainal!

and baby, you're the man that I wanna grow old with.

and if you love me that much, wait for me;
and I can honestly promise you that you won't be waiting for nothing.
It might be a little early to say things like these
but let's just not expect and put up our hopes too high
and I'll keep my mouth shut =X

but I hope you remember,
no matter how the tide gets too high,
I'll still love you & hold on tight
and if it's gone, I 'll love you even more.

I Love Mohd. Nazim bin Hj. Zainal Abidin!

now I think I can sleep. HAHAH
between, I chatted with
Nazim's COOLEST COUSIN EVER namanya Zara ;)
a little while ago..like around 6pm or 7pm?
first time chatting with her by surprised xP
through Nazim's msn, though.

11.29pm
He texted and made me smile.
Oh yes, I'm happy :)
but I'm not gonna reply, or should I?

I trust you but I doubt about things you don't tell me..
though I know sometimes, some things aren't just meant to be said.
Oh well, I think I should and better stop my head
from thinking over way too much.
*sigh* I Love You way over the boundaries ;|


----------------------------------
The COOLEST ZARA in the world!
The adorable babies in the world [link]!
The caring B.I.L aka Azim in the world!
The LOVELIEST BOYFRIEND in the widest universe!
you just made my day, hm?

bah..gotta hit the sack!
I have classes tomorrow! and guess what?
I get to go home at 12 noon and not 1 o`clock!

and oh, I'm fasting :)
Chiaw Fei, sister dearest also fasting with me xP

HAPPY RAMADHAN!